Blake v Board of Education
by Troumvirate
Summary: RWBY is an American anime-style web series and media franchise created by Monty Oum for Rooster Teeth. The show is set in the fictional world of Remnant, where young people train to become Huntsmen and Huntresses to protect their world from the creatures of Grimm.


It was the beginning of a new year at Bacon Academy when the new prospective students were all together in the main hall. For some retarded reason they were all sleeping together in some big communal sleep over, as an equally retarded blonde had pointed out. Hadn't anyone ever looked into how many condoms they go through at the Olympic Village because of all the fucking that goes on there? Well these hormonal teenagers are basically Olympians on steroids, and some idiot decided to have them all undress and sleep with each other.

Anyway, that's not the point. Ozpin was too busy counting the dingleberries in his asshole to notice the obvious and blatant racism happening in his school right in the open. Because apparently Faunus racism is like, a super big deal in Remnant. So super and so big that the only time we ever see it is when some Saturday morning cartoon bully pulls on some bunny girl's ears and then calls the Faunus "animals" in class. My heart weeps for the poor furry bait.

Blake noticed some racism going on and began to question her choices in life. "If only my older and abusive ex-boyfriend were here. He'd show those bullies a thing or two. And by a thing or two I mean his sword and their severed heads." She knew the edge of his sword would be extra edgy because it was Adam.

That's because Blake was a terrorist and did terroristy things. But once things got too real for her she bailed. Because as it turns out she's the daughter of the Chieftain of Menagerie and had a little teenage rebellious phase. Her father didn't wait to fight the good fight anymore, so Blake being the good little rich and privileged girl she was went out to, like, fight for equality or whatever? Like, she's totally into Faunus rights? Like, we need to help feed starving children in Vacuo and stuff?

She could still remember telling her father how cool Adam was with his leather jacket and motorcycle, and how her father didn't understand her the way Adam did. All she needed in the world was Adam and his undying Twilight love for her. He was a rebel. A rebel _with_ a cause. Voiced by James Dean.

She heard a voice from beside her. "Did somebody say abusive ex-boyfriend? Sounds like you're ready to give up on the Y chromosome."

"Who are you?" Blake angsted.

"The name's Yang Xiao-Long," Boobs said. "And I put the XXX in XX chromosome. The extra two X's are for my completely natural, unenhanced, enormous tits. That's my character."

Angst Blaked some more as she pondered the girl's words. She seemed nice. Nicer than Adam. And not racist at all. That was important. Because racism had shaped her life up until this moment. Probably. Maybe? I don't know. It's all part of Rooster Teeth's philosophy of "tell rather than show". It's up to us as fans to fill the holes in this Swiss cheese of storytelling.

Blangst was hesitant to give in to Boobs' proposition. "I don't know..."

"Oh come on don't queer bait me," tall blonde and shallow said characterlessly. "We're perfect for each other. You have commitment issues because the only relationship you've ever known has been abusive despite having loving and caring parents. And I have abandonment issues because my first mom abandoned me as a newborn and my second mom died when I was a kid."

"Two moms? Blake questangsted. "Does that mean you're some sort of test tube baby for a lesbian couple?"

"Nah it just means my dad has shitty luck with women. I think if he ever gets with a third one she'll just off herself... you know any chicks you want dead?"

She didn't. But Boobs made a good point. And that good point was that she was hot. She would be the perfect match for Blake.

"We should be partners," Boobs continued, her clitdick throbbing in the wind.

"You mean like huntresses on the same team?"

"Yeah. That's exactly what I meant."

So they found each other during initiation. And they became partners. And because they were partners they were shipped together. If Yang had been partnered with Weiss instead then they would be the couple who everyone fawned over. It's really just a matter of circumstance and sheep falling in line with what they're told to like.

Oops I said sheep. I didn't mean to offend any sheep Faunus. That's racist. Because apparently that's a big deal in Remnant. Probably. Maybe? I don't know.

"We gonna fuck," Boobs said.

The end.


End file.
